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Rules No 18+ This is a Warriors fanfic Canon characters only That's all run wild and don't be even remotely afraid to make it go insane because that's the whole point children Chapter One FIRESTAR: Don't ever go to chick-fil-a. It sucks. TIGERCLAW: HOW DARE YOU I WILL KILL YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GRAYSTRIPE: Popcorn? DARKSTRIPE: ...sure. LONGTAIL: Graystripe, how dare you talk to Darkstripe! YELLOWFANG: Wait, where are we? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to have wings. GRAYSTRIPE: *throws popcorn at Longtail* LONGTAIL: *very offended* HOLLYLEAF: Hello I am from the future! I am Firestar's granddaughter! FIRESTAR: wat! LIONHEART: *Steals Graystripe's popcorn* PRINCESS: AHAHAHAHA! IT'S ALL GOING TO PLAN NOW! CLOUDKIT: MOTHER NO FIRESTAR: I THINK YOU MEAN FIRESTAR/PRINCESS: MOTHER YES! CLOUDKIT: ???????? TALLSTAR: Why am I in ThunderClan camp??????????????? DARKSTRIPE: I DON'T KNOOOW TALLSTAR: WELL BLA ALDERHEART: I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE! YOU ALL ARE GOING TO DIE! PRINCESS: Noooooooooooo! GOOSFEATHER: *comes in wearing gangster glasses and a cap* BRO I'M the one ''that predicts the future. Get outta here. *kicks Alderheart to h-e-double-hockeypoles* ROCK: I don't have to predict the future, I am destine to watch it unfold. Buuuuut, that means I know who you all end up marrying...BUT I WON'T TELL YOUUU! CLOUDKIT: *grabs ears* I MUST KNOW PLEASE I MUST KNOW WHO I WILL MARRYYYYYYYYY PRINCESS: Calm down, child. *hands Cloudkit some green butter* CLOUDKIT: what am I supposed to do with this CLOUDKIT: CLOUDKIT: wait how am I holding this ERIN HUNTER: *walks out of de sky* Hello GOOSEFEATHER: AAH! A TWOLEG! LEAVE AT ONCE YOU DEMON, FOR YOU WILL CURSE THE FOREST WITH YOUR FOUL PRESENCE ERIN HUNTER: Relax, children, I am your creator. DOVEWING: THANK YOU, I AM PERFECT BECAUSE OF YOUU CLOUDKIT: EW GROSS WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BOW DOWN TO A TWOLEG JAYFEATHER: *randomly pops into existence* WHAT THE *bleep blep* IS HAPPENING I *bleepeeeepepep* SWEAR THAT I *blep bloop blop* SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT! PRINCESS: *gasps* COVER YOUR EARS CLOUDKIT CLOUDKIT: What does *bleep* mean? EVERYONE: AAH! FIRESTAR: JAYFEATHER! GO JUMP IN THE LAKE! JAYFEATHER: NO! BLEEP! BLEEEEEP! AND FURTHERMORE, BEEEEP! CLOUDKIT: *cheerfully* BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! FIRESTAR: OH CLOUDKIT NO! PRINCESS: CLOUDKIT! You must get a spankin now *gives cLOUdkit a leSpank* SQUIRRELFLIGHT: YOU TOO JAYFEATHER JAYFEATHER: I REFUUUUUSE *ascends into StarClan* TIGERCLAW: But I don't think you die. JAYFEATHER: *falls back into Earth* AWWW TIGERHEART: DaD? *leaves* ROWANSTAR: MA SON SANDSTORM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FIRESTAR: YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THE NEXT BOOK, CHI- bricks fall on Firestar's head FIRESTAR: OW OW OW, OKAY, OKAY, FINEEE NORTHSTAR: *Comes walking cooly in.* "Wats up boys?" CLOUDKIT: EWWWWWwwww did you read the rules? ONLY CANON CHARACTERS ALLOWED *shoves Northstar out the leDoor* JAYFEATHER:YEAH, YOU *bleeep* *bleep*. GRAYSTRIPE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH! DARKSTRIPE: Shh. GRAYSTRIPE: YOU'RE STEPPING ON MY TAIL!!! DARKSTRIPE: Entirely intentional. JAYFEATHER: WHAT THE *bleep*! BROKENSTAR: JAYFEATHER I HAVE COME TO CAT-NAP YOU. JAYFEATHE: D: NO *bleep*! EVERYONE: JAYFEATHER!!1! THERE ARE KITS HERE!! JAYFEATHER: DO YOU THINK I *BLEEP* CARE?!?!?!?!?!!?! LEAFPOOL: *kills Jayfeather* EVERYONE: THANK YOU Chapter Two VIOLETSHINE: Twigpaw, I'm so proud of you! BRAMBLESTAR: Twigpaw ur name is Twigbranch. TWIGBRANCH: AAGAHAGH BRAMBLESTAR U *BEEP* *attaccs* BRAMBLESTAR: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I TAKE IIT BACK. WHAT. DO U. WANT UR NAME TO BE? TWIGBRANCH: I WANNA BE CALLEED TWIGFBI!!! BRAMBLESTAR: ur name is now Twigfbi. SPOTKIT: Can I hav dat suffix HOLLYLEAF: I ressructed!!1!1!1 *kills breezepelt and gives his life to Ashfur* ASHFUR: Yeet LIONBLAZE: *dabs* DOVEWING: AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH NUUUUU DABSS ARE LAST YEAR IVYPOOL: GET HIIIIIMMMM!!! EVERYONE: *kills lionblaze* AMBERMOON: *constantly smashes face into pie* ALDERHEART: *le stabs self* HAWKFROST: *everything bad happens to him* SQUIRRELFLIGHT: I rEtIre froM bEIng ur Dep! BRAMBLESTAR: Holly you are the new deputy HOLLYLEAF: *makes it rain with cash* ye EVERYONE: *cheering and doing fortnite dances* BRAMBLESTAR: has a heart attack and dies HOLLYLEAF: I will be the greatest leader in all time, cause I give free cheesepuffs! SNAPKIT: But... I like just cheese! AT THE GATHERING MISTYSTAR: I heard the new leader Hollystar gives cheese puffs to her clan. TIGERSTAR: LUCKY!!!!!!! >:( HARESTAR: Where did she get them tho? := HOLLYSTAR: U DONT WANNA KNO CROWFODDER: YES WE DO HOLYLYSTAR: UR MOM OF A SUDDEN, SOME RANDOM MUSIC STARTS PLAYING... GRAYSTRIPE: *walks in with a latte* DID I MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT? YELLOWFANG: Maaaaaybe TIGERCLAW: I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY- WHO IS THIS IMPOSTER?! *gestures at Tigerstar* TIGERSTAR: I'M YOU, BUT OLDER GRAYSTRIPE: OH GRAYSTRIPE: UHHH GRAYSTRIPE: BYYYYYYEEEEE FIRESTAR: WAIT! Graystripe! Your... two-leg drink! YELLOWFANG: I don't understand. Where'd he get the two-leg drink? And why? PRINCESS: Why? Well, for the same reason why I'm here and not at the Twolegplace. YELLOWFANG: WHICH IS??? PRINCESS: '''NONE AT ALLLL!!!' CLOUDKIT: I'm confused!!! PRINCESS: AS YOU SHOULD BE CLOUDKIT: But why? PRINCESS: BECAUSE I SAID SO CLOUDKIT: Awwwww, but I don't want to. PRINCESS: TOOOOO BAAAAD! FIRESTAR: Does anyone else feel like there'll be an explosion soon? BRIGHTSTAR: HELLOOOO! FIRESTAR: AAA! YELLOWFANG: *yowls* SCOURGE: ARRGH! CLOUDKIT: WOAH! BOOM JAYFEATHER: Now I've used up all my bombs... TIGERCLAW: I'm afraid. CLOUDKIT: Of what? TIGERCLAW: OF THE WITCH! FIRESTAR: How do you known she is a witch? JAYFEATHER: I'M NOT A WITCH! I'M NOT A WITCH! (And I'm not a she-cat, either...) CLOUDKIT: Then why are you dressed like one? FIRESTAR: Did you dress her like that? TIGERCLAW: Well, yes, but... HE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT! YELLOWFANG: A newt. TIGERCLAW: *sheepishly* I got better... THUNDERCLAN: BURN HIM ANYWAY! YELLOWFANG: There are ways of telling if he's a witch. CLOUDKIT: Wood burns, soooo... FIRESTAR: WITCHES MUST BE MADE OF WOOD! YELLOWFANG: BUILD A BRIDGE OUT OF HIM! FIRESTAR: Ahh, but can you not also make bridges out of stone? GRAYSTRIPE: Oh, yeah... YELLOWFANG: Does wood sink in water? SCOURGE: No. CLOUDKIT: No. It floats. FIRESTAR: THROW HER INTO THE LAKE! JAYFEATHER: WHAT?! I HATE YOU ALL! URGH, time to go to the Twolegplace. YELLOWFANG: ...awww. Now we can't burn him! CLOUDKIT: Does nobody care that Scourge is here?! SCOURGE: *hides behind tree* TIGERCLAW: Actually, the fact that we just spent ten minutes re-enacting a Monty Python script is probably more important. CLOUDKIT: Oh, yeah. YELLOWFANG: Hm. FIRESTAR: Hm. JAYFEATHER: ONE LAST BOMB, FOR LUCK! THE FOUR CLANS: AAAAAA! JAYFEATHER: HAHAHA I WILL KILL YOU ALL! BRIERLIGHT: Jayfeather, don't. JAYFEATHER: Oh, but-but I really want to... BRIERLIGHT: *Turns into Rock* ROCK: HAHA JAYFEATHER: AAA *Launches bomb* STICK: JAYFEATHER, NOOO! CLOUDKIT: WHAT THE- PRINCESS: *slaps Cloudkit* JAYFEATHER: Hey, what the *bleep* did you slap your son for? He didn't do anything! PRINCESS: YOU ARE A *BLEEP* *Slaps Jayfeather* CLOUDKIT: BLEEP PRINCESS: NO D: SCOURGE: long string of beeps which I doubt would be suitable for any audience FIRESTAR: *kicks Scourge into the next century*\ EVERYONE: //Claps for Firestar// WELL DONE MEANWHILE, IN THE NEXT CENTURY... SCOURGE: NOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL FORESSSSSST! Chapter Three JAYFEATHER: Now that the villain has been defeated, shall we party? TIGERCLAW: BUT TIGERSTAR STILL EXISTS! TIGERSTAR: I'M OLDER YOU, IDIOT! *slaps Tigerclaw* THE DARK FOREST: HA IVYPOOL: NUUUUUUUU BREEZEPELT: YOU HAS COME FER MEH. AH NEW IT. BROKENSTAR: By the powers invested in me by myself, I hereby name you Cheesepelt. CHEESEPELT: D: NUUUUU I DON'T WANNA BE- *is slaped by Mapleshade* MAPLESHADE: STOP WHINING. BLUESTAR: Because you disturbed my sleep, I hereby re-name you... MAPLESYRUP. MAPLESYRUP: *Gives Bluestar a look of annoyance// Har.har. I HEREBY NAME YOU...BLUECHEESE BLUESTAR: BUT I AM A STARCLAN QUEEEEN! FIRESTAR: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS BLUECHEESE BLUECHEESE: YES IT IS, FIRESTUPID FIRESTUPID: HOW RUDE MAPLESYRUP: HAHAHA, FIRESTUPID! FIRESTUPID: YOU ALL ARE DUMB MAPLESYRUP: SAYS THE CAT WITH STUPID IN HIS NAME! HAHA! We interrupt this chapter to inform you that the original creator of this page, QuailWhiskerTheTrash, is very proud of you all. Chapter 3, continued. FIRESTUPID: I HEREBY RE-NAME MYSELF 'FIREAWESOME'. FIREAWESOME: BECAUSE I'M A LEADER, TOO. MAPLESYRUP: WAIT ONLY LEADERS HAVE THIS NAME-CHANGING POWER? CLOUDKIT: Maple syrup is awesome. The syrup, not the cat. MAPLESYRUP. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that last part. Thank you, Cloudkit, aka CloudCandy. CLOUDCANDY: What's candy? FIREAWESOME: Aren't we in Britain? MAPLESYRUP: No, we are ON MARS *Teleports everyone to Mars* HAHA THE FOUR CLANS: *die* STARCLAN CAT #1: Look, lots of new StarClan cats! STARCLAN CAT #2: What happened? Did the forest burn down, or something? MAPLESYRUP: No, we went to MARS! YELLOWFANG: Aren't those my ancestors? STARCLAN CAT #1: What is 'Mars'? It sounds like a herb. MAPLESYRUP: NO IT'S A FISH YOU FLUFF-BRAIN. STARCLAN CAT #1: Okay, yeesh STARCLAN CAT #2: Wait, you went to a fish and then all died? MAPLESYRUP:YES. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? EVERYONE: YES! STARCLAN CAT #2: How did you all die from a fish? STARCLAN CAT #1: *In reasoning tone* Maybe it was poisoned. CLOUDKIT: IT WAS NOT *bleep* POISONED. JAYFEATHER: Atta-boy, Cloudkit. PRINCESS: *Uses new-found powers to continuously murder Jayfeather* MAPLESYRUP: *BLEEP* PRINCESS: NO MAPLE SYRUP. *Smacks* MAPLESYRUP: HOW RUDE JAYFEATHER: BEEP PRINCESS: COME ONE CLOUDKIT, WE'RE LEAVING CLOUDCANDY: BEEP PRINCESS: NAUGHTY KIT CLOUDKIT: I AM NOT A KIT ANYMORE. IMMA DOG PRINCESS: WHAT FIRE-FACE:GaSP. Ur a cloudy doggo :0 MAPLE SYRUP: WOOF PRINCESS: I REPEAT, WHAT CLOUDKIT: It's better if you stay ignorant of the truth. PRINCESS: WHICH IS??? CLOUDKIT: *glances at fourth wall* NOTHIIIING PRINCESS:*YELLS LOOUUDDLLYY* FIRE-FACE: WAIT WHO AM I MAPLE SYRIP: YOU WHERE FIRESTAR, BUT U GOT DEMOTED XD PRINCESSSTAR: AND NOW I'M THE LEADER MAPLE SYRUP:*is terrified* PLEASE NO PRINCESSSTAR: TOO LATE I NEEDED A REASON FOR BEING HERE MAPLE SYRUP:YOU HAVE A REASON, IT'S SO WE CAN DRAMATICALLY KILL YOUUU PRINCESSSTAR: BUT AREN'T WE ALL DEAD? MAPLY SYRUP: THAN YOU SHALL DIE AGAIN!! TIGERCLAW: HAHAHAAHHAAAHHHAAAAAA TIGERHEART: AHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHH TIGERSTAR: AHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA TIGERHEAR:I WILL NEVER BE LIKE TIGERSTAR! MAPLE SYRUP: *whispering* Should we tell him? YELLOWFANG: I have a computer now! PRINCESSSTAR: *GASP* I HEREBY MAKE YOU THE LEADER, YELLOWSTAR PRINCESSMOUSE: I AM NOW PRINCESSMOUSE YELLOWSTAR: wait what PRINCESSMOUSE: WHAAAAAAAAAT CLOUDCANDY:I'm a prince now! CLOUDCANDY: wait nevermind mother isn't the leader anymore :c PRINCESSMOUSE:WELL DUNG Chapter 4 Meanwhile, back in the forest... SCOURGE: >:3 SCOURGE: Now I rule everything! SCOURGE:Well, all of the cats anyways. STILL SCOURGE: And by cats, I mean kittypets, 'cause the clans are gone... STILL SCOURGE: ...and now I'm alone... YEP, STILL SCOURGE: ...and I want cookies... :( RANDOM KITTYPET: lol no I'M the king of the kittypets SCOURGE: :( *sadness* SCOURGE:GASp WAIt. What if I killed myself, and then went to rule StarCan! SCOURGE: *is conveniently hit by a vehicle that for some reason hadn't already crashed into a tree* In StarClan... SCOURGE: *gasp* I'm in StarClan! CLOUDCANDY: Why does HE have to be here? PRINCESSSTAR:Maybe because he secretly had a nice side and StarClan forgave him. PRINCESSSTAR:....No, that's not right. STARCLAN CAT #3: This story isn't canon at all, so EVERYTHING IS CORRECT! SCOURGE: So the idea that everyone who doesn't support my evilness is stupid is correct?? STARCLAN CAT #3: No :D PRINCESSSTAR: HAHAHA!!! CLOUDCANDY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SCOURGE:THAN I GUESS I WILL KILL YOU ALL!....again.... STARCLAN CAT #2: Can we even die twice? FIREAWESOME: HELLOOOOOOO GREYPELT: I HAVE MORE LATTES!!! CLOUDCANDY: WHAT THE BEEP IS A LATTE SCOURGE: ...did you just say 'beep' out loud? CLOUDCANDY: Yep SCOURGE: I need a holiday... YELLOWFANG: Now you feel my pain. CLOUDCANDY: NYEHHHHHH JAYFEATHER: NI! YELLOWFANG: What? JAYFEATHER: away uhh... nothing... CLOUDCANDY: NI! NI! NI! YELLOWFANG: *Facepalm* CLOUDCANDY: HAHAHA *BEEP* NI! SCOURGE: of fear CINDERPELT: *does a frontflip and claps* Heyo! lololololololololololololol SCOURGE: backwards in an undignified but cat-like manner CLOUDCANDY: Awwww :( A RANDOM STARCLAN CAT: AHHHHH YA'LL ARE INSANE AAAAA SCOURGE: IT IS Y'ALL NOT YA'LL YELLOWFANG: NOBODY CARES SCOURGE: :'( CLOUDCANDY: throat CLOUDCANDY: y'all'ren't JAYFEATHER: I can do better! JAYFEATHER: y'all'ren't've'reshan't STARCLAN CAT #2: What? That isn't a word. JAYFEATHER/CLOUDCANY: THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT STARCLAN CAT #2: ALSO. I HAVE NO NAME. HOW SAD. EVERYONE ELSE: laughter Category:Randomness Category:Craziness Category:Roleplays Category:FUNNY RPS Category:Ehhshehehehehehehehheehahaiaoaaoaaoaoajdgjska Category:Ahhaahaahhahhahahahhaahhaahhahahahahaahahahahaa Category:Leolelealagagzkxjavalhakanxbbsbahahahaaaaaaa Category:Uuuuubbbbbeeeerrrrrssss OoooooOooooOOOOOOOOFFFFFff tttttaaaaxxxxxiiiiiiissss? Category:Bsjakzhgcgsjkagsggchhchfhhfü Category:Ahaajjskfjahhaisjvfbfhffbfbfhfbfhhfhhf